If ISIS has good enough credit to buy a Toyota Tacoma, why don't I?

I am not a perfect man. I sometimes pay my electricity bill a few days late. I put a bit too much on my credit card. A few years ago I got behind on mortgage payments. But never in my 56 years of life have I committed acts of terror designed to senselessly murder innocent people in the name of reclaiming my way of life. So someone, anyone, please explain to me why I fail Toyota’s credit check, and ISIS does not.

It would be one thing if one member of the infamous terror organization got through Toyota’s rigorous three page credit check. Accidents happen. But it is not one man. ISIS owns DOZENS of Toyota Tacomas. Even with the zero down, zero percent APR Toyota offers, ISIS has spent thousands of dollars at Toyota dealers, and passed multiple credit checks. Is there something I’m missing here?

There is no way members of ISIS have better credit than me. These are men who live in hiding, or in the middle of nowhere. How do they even get credit cards? What bills do they pay? Toyota sells their fine vehicles to customers with jobs and cash flow. Is ISIS only a part time job? Do these men have stable careers with ISIS as a hobby?  How can I be less fiscally responsible than a terrorist?

The worst part is, ISIS gets all their Tacomas in the color I wanted, that sleek looking white. Now, whenever I see one on the street, I have to be reminded not only of ISIS, but also of my shitty credit score.

I will never understand how ISIS has built their credit score throughout the years. The only other option is that Toyota is assisting ISIS in their terror. If that is the case, Toyota please hear my plea. My wife and I have to ride around in our 10 year old Ford F-150 with over 200,000 miles. If that isn’t the true meaning of terror, what is?