University of Wisconsin released a report Monday confirming a long held belief among the student body Thursday that the student watching Sword Art Online and Madoka Magica/ at College Library is, in fact, still getting better grades than you.
“It really did baffle our researchers” UW professor of sociology Marcia DeLacey said. “With all the time that student spends shitposting memes on the anime’s reddit page and crafting fanfiction between the show’s main characters, it was a surprising realization that this student has far better grades than your sorry ass.”
The study found that while the amount of time this student spent writing their last paper was far shorter than what you spent on your political science senior thesis, the student in fact got an AB, while you, you poor soul, who spent hours rewriting and getting constructive feedback about word choice, got a solid C, with “room for improvement” from your TA.
At press time, this student was last seen creating a Google Doc for supplies needed for an upcoming cosplay convention while not studying for that midterm you’re definitely not prepared for on Monday morning.