According to recent polling, President Trump’s popularity rating for his first three weeks in office have reached record lows. In an attempt to prove his popularity to the American people, Trump has begun the new tactic of wearing leather jackets, smoking cigarettes, and skipping white house briefings to go skateboarding. This attempt has been particularly effective with high school students.
“I don’t know what it is about him but, wow,” cheerleader Tomee Larrin said. “I always thought of him as a bad man, but now he seems like more of a bad boy. I can get behind that.”
“That guy is alright,” quarterback Ryan Paul said. “I cut class, he cuts intelligence briefings. I make risky calls on the football field, and sometimes we don’t get the first down. He makes risky calls with military raids, and sometimes he kills 10 year old civilian girls. He’s just relatable.”
“He’s fuckin brutal,” bully Brad Pootin said. “He gives the media swirlies on a daily basis, and steals America’s lunch money, or taxes I guess, and spends it on making his girl comfortable in NYC.”
“He sets a bad example for students ,” said english teacher counselor Rynce Priebus. “He doesn’t even read his executive orders before he turns them in.”
“I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” Trump’s ex best friends Corey, Lew, and Owski said. “Rumor has it he’s hosting a republican party in the white house cause his parents are out of town. His parents cabinet is confirmed to have all the coolest liquor. He invited the whole legislative branch, and they say they’re gonna tear down the whole establishment.I think this Bannon guy he’s been hanging out with is a bad influence.”
Rumor has it, Trump was going to ask Australia’s prime minister to go to the UN summit with him. They got in a fight, however, and and he ended up going with his on again, off again friend with benefits, Kellyanne Conway.