Gold tier students to get first dibs on stale pizza


This week UW-Madison officials announced that they will be institution a tiered system of paying for dining hall food, with tiers being “Bronze”, “Silver”, and “Gold”, depending on how much money students have on their account. Senior Landon Pratt immediately invested his life savings into it so he could be a gold member as soon as possible.

On Tuesday morning, just as Gordon’s was opening up, a line formed in front of the pizza counter. Usually Pratt would just have to show up earlier than everyone to get first dibs on the stale pizza, but on Tuesday Pratt walked in one minute before opening and held up his Gold Membership card. The lesser Bronze and Silver members immediately let him through.

“I’m just glad I got to see one in person,” said Bronze member Andrew Thompson. “One day, if I’m lucky, I dream of being a Gold member.”

As Pratt ate his pizza, trickle down economics was practiced by the Bronze’s who opened their mouths beneath Pratt to catch the excess pizza grease.