The Definitive Ranking of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

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10. The Colonels Road Trip to NYC

This float features Colonel Sanders Cadillac next to a juicy bucket of fried chicken, bringing good ol’ Kentucky racism back to the city in style

9. Frozen’s Olaf

There’s no better reminder of global warming than watching a snowman whose destiny is to melt fly above a snowless New York City.

8.  The Goo-Goo Dolls

Nothing says ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ more than blond highlights and leather jackets

 

7.  Half-Baked Holiday Sweets

Most likely, they are not the only thing half-baked at your Thanksgiving

 

6. Tough Guy Trycaloon

This bald-headed tattooed dude riding a tiny bicycle was found to be Donald Trump’s biggest role model in an interview he recently had with CNN

 

5. Harold the Policeman and Harold the Fireman and Harold the Baseball Player

The classic dynamic trio took a #twinning picture before launching into the skies

 

4. Pikachu

The fun yellow guy sent Poke-hunters into a frenzy this morning until they realized he was on their TV screen and did not exist in real life

 

3. Daily News’ Big Apple

This float was seen as a big fuck you to Trump’s fake news frenzy this past year

2. Al Roker

Wouldn’t you like to have your name announced the way Al Roker announces the Pillsbury balloon

1. Santa

Because Christmas and Thanksgiving are apparently the same holiday now and if you say Happy Holidays, then you are not a real American