Survey: roughly 0% of campus knows what Agronomy major entails

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A recent survey conducted on the UW-Madison Campus indicated that, almost unanimously, students have no idea what agronomy is.

The study was orchestrated after the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (CALS) became concerned that they were not well understood by the general student body. According to the director of CALS, the results were much worse than expected.

“We knew that the agricultural sciences weren’t ‘hip’ or ‘down with the kids’ these days, but I really thought we were going to do better,” the director explained.

Daniel Fisher, one of two agronomy majors at UW-Madison, claims that he’s not surprised. “I have to explain to people constantly what agronomy is. And then I have to explain why it’s important. And then I have to explain that it really is a science and much more complicated than just putting plants in dirt and watering them,” he said. “Agriculture is literally a key foundation of society. I don’t know how people know so little about it.”

When asked to explain what agronomy is by our interviewer, Fisher let out a deep, defeated sigh and said, “Is there even any point anymore?”

Tonya Fredericks, the only other agronomy major at UW-Madison, said that things could be worse.

“No one knows what agronomy is, but at least people don’t pretend to know what it is,” she said. “I have friends that majored in large animals sciences, and they constantly have to explain to people why artificially inseminating cows isn’t rape. That sounds worse than people just not caring.”