Trump calls turkey ungrateful for not showing gratitude for pardon

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For Donald Trump’s first Thanksgiving as President, he followed precedence and held a Turkey pardoning ceremony on the White House lawns. However, Trump broke with tradition when he condemned the turkey for not showing gratitude for Trump’s pardon.

“Who does this guy think he is.” Trump said. “I offer him complete freedom and he just stares at me blankly like he doesn’t even appreciate the gesture.”

Top White House aides are reporting that Trump is considering reversing the pardon and eating that specific turkey for thanksgiving.

“The president has to show strength,” said aide Stephen Miller. “If he lets this Turkey get away with disrespect, he’s telling the aviary world that it’s okay if you disrespect him.”

“Do you remember when that eagle attacked him?” said aide Sebastian Gorka. “How exactly do you think President Trump showed that eagle who’s boss?”

To cover their bases, the Trump administration is also planning to add Turkey to the travel ban until they can ‘find out what the hell is going on’.