Freakfest attendance declines sharply, possibly due to the fact that Freakfest sucks

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UW MADISON— Freakfest, a sucky music festival, annually occurring during Halloween weekend in downtown Madison has seen large attendance drops the past three years. 19,000 tickets were reportedly sold this year which is down from 30,000 tickets in 2016, and 34,000 sold in 2015, possibly due to the fact that Freakfest sucks.  

UWPD Freakfest OP Team’s chief Officer, Skully McGraw, said that he believes the decline in crowd size year after year directly correlates to the fact that Freakfest keeps getting suckier and suckier. According to the National Fun Service, 2017’s event was the suckiest Freakfest since at least 2012.

According to UWPD, the event went really smoothly with only 11 reported arrests, and only 2 people incarcerated.

“More than half of the arrests this year were just for littering. I got excited when I saw one kid up to something boisterous, but upon further investigation, he was just drinking some chocolate milk and shouting about Dungeons and Dragons. I guess overall the whole thing was just pretty lame,” said a UWPD officer on duty that night.

“I got my Wisdom teeth out last weekend, and honestly, that was way less sucky than Freakfest this year. Don’t get me wrong, last year was pretty sucky too, but if I had to compare them in terms of how much they sucked, this years’ was the suckiest,” Said sophomore, Abigail Griffith.

Madison’s annual Freakfest event, headlined this year by Virginia-based rapper D.R.A.M., capped off the weekend before Halloween, proving to everyone once again that everyone from Virginia is lame.