University of Wisconsin freshman Andrew Davis quickly hid the sign and pizza he brought to his Biology 101 lecture last week after the junior sitting next to him informed him that homecoming in college is not at all like high school homecoming and that there’s nothing special about the weekend for anyone under the age of 25.
“I was wondering why the hell this kid brought a goddamn sign and pizza to lecture, until I realized it was homecoming this weekend and that he was definitely a freshman,” said Benjamin Reed, the junior who informed Andrew of the true nature of college homecoming.
“No spirit days? No dance? What kind of homecoming is this?” Andrew said. “Why is the football game on a Saturday? When is the pep rally? I have lots of questions.”
After Andrew realized his mistake, he reportedly had a look of extreme panic on his face and sheepishly ambled over toward the corner of the classroom, where he attempted to cover the pizza and sign that said “Hope this wouldn’t be too cheesy, homecoming?” with his backpack and some paper towels.
His intention was originally to ask his lab partner Sarah to the nonexistent “homecoming dance” with the poster and pizza. However, the two have never even spoken outside of the class.
“In hindsight, I’m kinda glad I didn’t get to ask her, because I wasn’t sure yet of which clip-on tie would go best with my suspenders. I think the purple one would look cool, but the orange one would look even cooler.”