Forever 21 paleontology department translates dinosaur language





According to a study published earlier this month, a local team of paleontologists at Forever 21 has recently deciphered an ancient dinosaur language. After months of data collection and analysis, the team concluded that “Rawr” means “I love you” in dinosaur. This slogan was immediately printed onto thousands of shirts, phone cases, and other pieces of first world garbage.


“The culture here in Madison really seems to dig the dino vibe” said the Madison Forever 21 manager. The deciphered dinosaur shirts were an instant hit on the UW Campus and elsewhere in Madison. People of all ages, demographics, and progressive political beliefs have been enjoying the informative graphic clothing.


“I love love love my dino tee!” exclaimed Tara S., a graduate student pursuing a paleontology degree at UW Madison. “It really shows my angry and lovable sides, you know? Like, at first, the ‘Rawr’ is kind of scary, but then you realize that the little guy just loves you. So cute!” Aside from the immense demand for the shirts, what surprised the Forever 21 team the most was the age range of the customers. According to the purchase database, the average age of a “Rawr” shirt buyer is between 19-21. This fact has the translation team stumped. After successfully decoding an otherwise unknown dinosaur language, translating it to English, and preparing it for market, the team said they were “beyond devastated” to learn how their discovery was being put to use. “The decision to use the language for consumer trash makes me wish I would have given up on my childhood dream” said one of the paleontologists.  


After a week of the dinosaur products being on the market, the entire paleontology team left Forever 21. Soon after, they all found work on a new project excavating the dimly-lit back room at the local Spencer Gifts